YOU Make Me So Angry! Really?

Stop and think about it. If someone else can really make you angry, who is in control? You, or the other person? Do you really want to be like water pushed around with every shifting current, or would you rather be that solid rock that forces negativity and irritations around you? Now, how do you achieve this new found strength and stability?

First, you have to realize who you are. Not an easy task, so let’s get started. Write a list of what makes you happy, children, time alone, your spouse, running, etc., you get the idea. For the next 7 days, when you feel an issue making you angry, think about one of the items on your list and focus on it. Now that wasn’t so hard.

Next step. Over the next 7 days keep a list of when you get upset, either a mental note or write them down. Note especially how you feel when you are getting upset. Are there any noticeable triggers or buttons that are being pushed by the other person? If you can isolate them you are on your way to controlling your response.

A long time ago, my eight year old son came home from school telling me how everyone was picking on him in his class. After a short conversation, I tried to explain the story of the tied up goat. I told him that if you don’t let others know where your goat is tied up they can’t get at it. He assured me that he understood what I was trying to tell him so I left figuring I had solved another major life issue for him. A few hours later my wife asked, ‘when did we get a goat?’ I said we hadn’t and asked her why? She said after my talk with our son, he had spent a lot of time running around the house ‘looking for the goat that was tied up’. Needless to say I had some explaining to do to our son. He turned out rather well in spite of his father’s shortcomings. He is now a successful neurologist.

That opens up to my third exercise and this is important. Remember, that we are all human. We all have good points. We all have bad points. We all have strengths. We all have weaknesses. People can and many times will ’say’ things that might hurt you, but only if you allow it to hurt you. You will go where your heart and mind lead you. People will either help or hinder you in this journey. So you must learn to control your reactions to any given situation. For the next 3 weeks spend some time trying to figure out who you are, what triggers wrong reactions in you, and above all, remember that we are all human. Now go have some fun in life.

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