Letting Go of a Relationship

Accept that There will Be Lingering Feelings

Whenever you spend a lot of time with a person, you develop a special bond with them. It’s more biological, than anything – it’s akin to a chemical addiction that we get. Leaving that person is always going to be difficult, and there will always be a kind of withdrawal that we go into. Having sex with someone intensifies that bond, as does the self-hypnosis that we venture into when we tell someone that we love them, and try to think about them as being someone totally irreplaceable. Well, now there are going to have to be replaced.

There are Million of Potential Partners

There are so many people out there who are looking for someone just like you to spend time with. Everybody has baggage that comes from previous relationships, but that does not mean that it is impossible to move on after a bad breakup. Clinging to one person is ultimately a denial of the reality that there are millions of people in the world who could be a potential lover of yours. As is it a denial of the reality that who you can be in the future is possibly entirely different to how you are now. You could take this opportunity to radically change your lifestyle and become far more attractive than you ever have been in the past.

Feel the Emotions Completely

My strategy for dealing with any emotions, is to be completely open to them. Suffering is pain mixed with avoidance. You feel the pain, but you are too scared to feel into it completely, so you build a block against experiencing that pain. Instead of passing through you, that pain stay trapped beneath layers of resistance, and continue to haunt you for years. In the same way that you can open yourself to experiencing the touch of your clothing, or the feeling of your tongue on the roof of your mouth, become open to feeling the pain within you. Feel its very texture, the intensity, and accept it completely. Feel the tensions that is causes in your body as you attempt to resist it. And then in one bold move, just let it all drop away completely.

Learn to Move On

The most important thing that you can do when dealing with the pain of a breakup is to keep yourself moving. It’s okay to take a few days to sulk in your room, letting go of all the attachments and emotions that you are experiencing, but sooner or later you actually have to move on with your life. It could be a miraculous and exciting time for you as you learn new things, take on new experiences, and meet new people. Oftentimes relationships can keep us from experiencing certain things in life. This is your chance for complete freedom, and it is up to you to embrace that fully, or suffer the torment of your closure to life as you resist change.

Don Not Look Back at the Relationship

The tendency is for people to re-establish contact with their partners as soon as they feel like they’re more comfortable (or even before that). I believe that this is because they still feel like they need to have their partner back. But know that once you have broken up, it will never be the same. The relationship as it was is done, and you need to accept that and move on from feeling like you need it to be like it was. You are both different people now. Resist the temptation to keep contact.