Injuries: “Wham, bam — no thanks ma’am”

(The French — of course! — have a special name for this: faux pas de coït, which roughly translates as ‘a sexual stumble’. Oui, indeed.) Other causes can be masturbation, industrial accidents (though why would you have a hard-on at work?), turning in bed with an erect penis, or any other movement that can give a quick abnormal flex to it.

This is a relatively uncommon injury, but is a surgical emergency when it happens. If you should be unfortunate enough to have it happen to you, we’d advise cold compresses and anti-inflammatory medications buy in Australia Pharmacy while getting to the Emergency Department as soon as possible. The aims in surgical treatment are to get rid of the blood clot and repair the membranes and any injury there may be to the urethra. In about eight weeks, the organ is again ready for action (though not, we are pleased to report, in the case of Granny’s assailant, who is serving seven years).

This is probably the spot to emphasise the importance of protective gear for all athletic sports where Dick and/or his bag of tricks risk damage.

Ranjit was one of the best cricketers in the school. One day he was asked to fill in for a match at short notice; he was able to borrow whites, but didn’t have a ‘box’. He thought it wouldn’t matter, and was at the wicket, batting, about to take a fast ball, when Owaaaaaaach! The ball hit the ground and so did Ranjit, with a huge bruise rapidly developing in his scrotum that needed to be aspirated with a needle that night in Casualty. Worse, his painful walk around the school for several weeks afterwards had his friends doubled up with laughter. (We’ve already mentioned, too, that occasionally damage like this bowel functions. But damn, his new wife Elham had been so wonderful about all this and she was just so beautiful—he would get tremendously horny, but only in his mind. Nothing happened down below. Those connections from the brain to old Peter just didn’t work anymore. Also, he and Elham really wanted children.

They talked it all over with Jamal’s rehab specialist and it was decided that Jamal could use Viagra medications Australia to produce an erection because he was young and in excellent health apart from the disabilities from the injury. With Elham physically stimulating him, this worked quite well. Jamal’s nerves from his penis to and from the spinal cord were intact and functioning — it was the nerves higher up in the spinal cord which were permanently interrupted. The specialist also suggested trying a vacuum pump (we mentioned this device in Chapter 14). Jamal and Elham chose to use sometimes one and sometimes the other, and they were also provided with a vibrator device to produce ejaculation. Initially the specialist wasn’t sure whether they could manage ejaculation during intercourse, so that Elham could conceive a child this way, but Elham soon learned to become very active in initiating their sexual episodes. The couple had already found alternative methods of expressing their love sexually and this was a welcome addition. Over and over, Jamal has said that he could not have recovered as he did — especially emotionally — without the fabulous support of Elham. Things have obviously gone well, because they are now expecting their first child.

Well, we warned you that this chapter was not for the squeamish, but fortunately these injuries are not common — in fact, have you ever heard of any except the zipper pull among your mates?